Can you feel the love?

Ahhh, Christmas... A time to be with family and cherish our loved ones. A time to take 50 bazillion pictures in the hopes that at least one of them will have BOTH kids smiling and at least looking like they love each other. (They do, really! I just hope they love each other this much ten years from now...)

Pre-Christmas fun

Sorry if my last post was a little too gruesome. Here are some random fun pictures from the massive amounts of time we've spent around our house this month:

Joey gets his first taste of a Red Robin banana malt. And his second. And his third.....

Lucy's first taste of Daddy's favorite: EGG NOG!

Joey loves to tackle his Christmas bear and smother it with "kisses." (This bear was a gift from some volunteers and kept him company in the hospital last month.)

Daddy teaches Joey the beauty of earphones -- he kept taking them out of his ears to look at them to try to figure out where the music was coming from.

Lucy loves to build pillow forts, and this time she got Daddy and brother involved in her hidden tea party.
Daddy has some big shoes (and shirts) to fill.

My own personal Clark Griswold. Yes, our one strand of white lights is lame, but better than nothing!

And Lucy's creative hairbow placement is why my son will always wear camo.

Crime Scene

I left the kids under my husband's care a few nights ago to finish my Christmas shopping and I came home to this:






My apologies to the swooners. Yes, that is blood. My 16-month-old son's, to be exact. And I didn't even take pictures of the doorknobs, dresser, pillows, walls, CD player, or his clothing.

This is what happens when I leave Daddy in charge.

To be fair, John was working diligently to surprise me with a clean house. As he moved from room to room vacuuming, Josiah happily followed him, chasing the vacuum and playing with whatever was in his path. But as John was nearly finished, he noticed Joey rubbing his hands together and looking at them. Then he realized his hands were completely covered in blood.

He hurried to wash them off to assess the wound and determine whether it would require stitches, but all he found was the teeniest tiniest little nick on his left thumb--about as wide as a double pin-prick.

Of course, it makes complete sense when you realize that Joey's blood is still being thinned by aspirin, so the bleeding just goes on and on... Ugh. A water-proof band-aid and a little pressure did the trick this time.

I'm no forensics expert, but I seriously didn't expect it to take me two whole days to find everything he bled on! Fortunately it was limited to the upstairs level of the house.

Aside from dreading that each bump or pinch will lead to excessive, unstoppable bleeding, I'm looking forward to ten days from now when he will (God willing) be off the aspirin for good so that we don't have to avoid other people. Doctor's orders: we're not allowed to take him to church, or any crowded place, or be around anyone who has or has had a recent virus. Our social schedule has been pretty limited, to say the least.

I think we'll probably break that rule on Christmas Eve so we can go to church. We'll just plan to ruin our holiday attire by wearing signs that say "PLEASE DO NOT BREATH ON, COME NEAR, OR TOUCH US!" Or maybe we'll just look into purchasing a human-sized hampster ball and coat it with Purell.

Pick me!

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Creepy Old Man

Lucy has been asking a lot of questions about Santa this year. We've not really made a big deal of Santa in the past, trying instead to focus on Christmas as the birthday of Jesus, and explaining the legend of St. Nick as the origin of gift-giving. But at four-and-a-half she is much more aware of images of him broadcast all around us. I'm doing my best to answer her questions without 'lying' to her and thinking it's pretty harmless to let a little Christmas wonder take hold in her mind. After all, she thinks that My Little Ponies and Little Einsteins are real, too.

The other night I admit to not playing fair. I thought I'd use this new-found belief to my advantage. It had been a particularly whiny day on her part, and by dinner time I was done with it. So I asked her if she understood that she had to be a good girl so Santa would come on Christmas Eve. I know, shame on me. Then, to prove my point, I began to sing:

You'd better watch you, you'd better not cry
You'd better not pout, I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town!

He's making a list, checking it twice
Gonna find out, who's naughty or nice
Santa Claus is coming to town!

Then I stopped in my tracks as I realized what I was about to sing next:

He sees you when you're sleeping...

Ewww! Does anyone else find this totally creepy??? Really, my daughter has a hard enough time sleeping without thinking that some strange old man is watching her!

I hummed the next few bars, then commenced with:

He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

Phew! Dodged those nightmares, at least for one night.

Deck the Halls

Decorating for Christmas this year looks far different for our family than it ever has. For the first time in our married life, we actually have the space for a real Christmas tree and not just a 4-foot shrub perched precariously on top of a piece of furniture!

As in the past few years, we wanted to carry on our tradition of going to the mountains and picking the perfect tree for us, cutting it down, and hauling it home. This year, you could say our selection process looked a little bit different. We were too late to get a permit (as we had been just a bit distracted last month with Josiah's health), so we decided to find a local tree farm and cut one down closer to home. After driving around yesterday for a while, we gave up and settled for this:



John felt defeated, but it was becoming more clear that if we were going to have a tree at all this year, it had to be done. And he certainly wasn't going to cave and buy a fake tree, so this was our best alternative. Really, "Homer's Tree Lot" had a nice selection. And you can tell by my family's attire that standing outside to make the choice was certainly preferable to the blizzard conditions of last year!

The trunk was trimmed, the tree was tied up, and we tossed it on the top of our car for the six-minute ride home. That's right -- six minutes.

Lucy really enjoyed hanging ornaments, though I had to teach her to spread them out a bit. We're not used to a tree this big, so we've never had very many ornaments (or lights, or garland, for that matter), but all of them mean something to us.


One of my biggest concerns in having a real Christmas tree (and one so big!) has been keeping an active and curious 16-month-old from trying to climb, eat, yank, or otherwise destroy it. John assured me it would be no problem. What do you think?

Nah, no restraint necessary. I'm sure if he could talk he'd be saying "Let me at it!" The shrieking and stomping communicated pretty much the same thing. But after the initial displeasure of not getting to tackle the tree, even Joey got into the festivities. He loves to imitate his sister, so he started to gently try to place random objects in the tree.


Very cute. I'm wondering how long this will last...

A little sparse on the decorations, but it's ours, and it's perfect!

Really, I'm starting to consider shellacking it to preserve it for years to come.

Oh, and I can't forget the eye-sore that is our advent calendar. For years I've dreamed of having a classy advent calendar and filling it with Bible verses about Christ's birth, meaningful activities for the kids, little presents, and other treats. But then John brought this home and I decided the dream can wait another year. No, this advent calendar has absolutely no spiritual value, it looks tacky, and there isn't even a word of English on the whole thing.

But it's filled with German chocolate!

Lookin' good!

We returned this morning from Josiah's follow-up cardiology appointment with the news that his heart looks very good! We are thrilled and praising God that so far it does not look like the inflammation from Kawasaki's has touched his heart or coronary arteries.

For this appointment we went downtown to The Children's Hospital's main campus. Once again, every nurse, tech, and doctor was exceptionally kind and gentle and caring. Joey was not real fond of being there at first, but once the decision was made to sedate him, suddenly everyone was his best friend as he calmly smiled and giggled his way through the rest of the tests. It was indeed entertaining and put us all at ease.

We are extremely pleased to know things are looking good right now, but we will also be returning for a third scan at the end of the month. If there is damage from Kawasaki's, it is certain to show up in the first six weeks. As long as that last scan shows all is clear, it will be the final one at this stage, and there will likely be no need for repeat scans each year, which is also great news!

Josiah does, however, have to remain on aspirin until his third echocardiogram. We continue to be cautious with his health during cold and flu season so as not to risk Reyes Syndrome. It's a little bit frustrating to feel like we have to continue being social hermits, but in the bigger picture it is totally worth it. And I suppose, looking on the bright side, it's keeping our whole family extra healthy for a while!

We are again so appreciative of everyone who has kept Josiah and our family in their prayers! Each day, we continue to see the hand of Jehovah-Rapha (the Lord our healer) touching his little life!

By the Light of the IV Infuser

I looked at the calendar this morning. I can hardly believe it was three weeks ago today that we began this journey with Josiah. It feels like months or longer. Overall, I have really been doing great as I watch him return to himself, gain strength, and provide those precious moments that make me burst inside at the joy he brings. But I have my moments, too, when it all catches up with me, when I weep at the "what ifs" that race through my thoughts, when the weight of it all seems to sit more heavily on me than I am capable of bearing, when I wonder or worry about the long-term affects on his health.

Spending four long nights in a hospital gives one plenty of opportunity to think. It's dangerous. Our thoughts can stray to horrible things, if we let them. The overhead lights were dimmed as low as they would go, and the brightest light by which I could see the outline of my son's chest rise and fall with each breath was the IV infuser that trickled away the smallest amounts of fluid to treat and nourish his suffering little body. It was quiet, and I ached with love for my little boy, feeling like the small moments of time that I held him I couldn't hold him close enough. But I can still clearly see that place where I sat (it was only nine days ago, after all), with the glaring light of the IV machine, and it surprises me to think of how I felt peace. A feeling of peace that I should not have possessed as I sat alone, surrounded by all those machines.

I really thought that November 12 to 16, 2008 would go down in my history book as one of the lowest times of my life. Instead, I see it as one of the most hopeful and peaceful. I can't explain it, except for the fact that I continue to talk to people who tell me they have been praying. Not just our church, our friends, our family, but also their churches, their friends, their families. Your prayers sustained us in that time, and continue to do so.

I spent time in that chair beside Joey's dimly-lit bed in earnest prayer for his life. I also spent a lot of time thanking God for so many things: for the prayers of countless people through which God gave us peace and hope; for the selfless acts of blood donors whose refined antibodies now course through my son's body and have brought him healing; for living just four miles from one of the top children's hospitals in the nation; for that feeling in my gut that told me he needed serious help; for living in an age where rare diseases can be identified and treated; for the knowledge God has given us about the bodies he has created for us, and the doctors and nurses who administer care, especially through the long hours of the night; for the volunteers who add such loving touches as a soft fleece blanket to lay my baby on, and teddy bears to cheer him; for a strong marriage and a wonderful partner in life who kept our family running in my absense from home; for a daughter whose understanding went far beyond her 4 1/2 years and whose countenance and obedience are proof in themselves of the power of prayer; for the opportunity to once again cherish each smile, giggle, and snuggle of our sweet little boy; and for knowing now more than ever that each day we have with our children is truly a gift.

Every day of this past week has been a day of Thanksgiving for us. My hope is that it won't stop after Thursday comes and goes, but that we will continue to offer up prayers of thanks to God for all He so graciously gives us. Especially His peace.

Worth it

Eight days at home of worrying, waiting, wondering...
Seven hours in the ER of anguish, answers, acceptance...
Five days in the hospital of pain, patience, prayer...
One week at home of rest, recovery, realizing I can't do this alone...

And seeing this yesterday...

...has made it all worth it.

The Road to Recovery

Here is an update on how Josiah is doing this week since we arrived back at home...

EATING: He's eating like a champ! Just this morning he ate TWO whole waffles! When we weighed him at yesterday's doctor visit, he had gained back 9 of at least 17 ounces he lost during the week he was sick before he was hospitalized. He still seems to have some trust issues with sippy cups, but does continue to nurse well.

SLEEPING: Last night was our best night so far since we came home on Sunday. He had been waking up often and sometimes staying awake for as much as three hours in the middle of the night. His time in the hospital was very disruptive to his routine, to say the least, as they woke him up to administer medicine or take his vitals numerous times and at odd hours. Then it would be up to me to get him back to sleep, which would sometimes take two hours or more. So it will take some time to return to normal patterns, but we are seeing good progress here.

EXTERNALLY: His rash is all but gone! It isn't visible any more, but there are just a few places where his skin still feels a little rough. It doesn't seem to bother him at all, which is the best part. We are, however, beginning to see the skin at his fingertips peeling, which is an expected part of the course of Kawasaki's. It's like blistered skin, though it doesn't seem to hurt or really affect him at all, other than catching his curiosity.

INTERNALLY: His blood work from yesterday's follow-up appointment shows some improvement. One inflammation marker is still up, which could even be due to the fact that he has cut three new teeth in the past week (yikes!), but we just don't know. And his platelets are still high, which is in part why we have to continue giving him aspirin. We will have to repeat the blood labs weekly until everything returns to normal.

PERSONALITY: Each day we see more of our precious Josiah returning. He is babbling (though still hoarse from a swollen throat and all that crying and moaning for days on end), and he is smiling and giggling! Last night he was bopping to the beat of the music we were listening to. He has remembered all the signs he uses to communicate. He continues to be clingy and skeptical of any unfamiliar face, but we are told that his irritability will continue for several weeks at least.

MOBILITY: Joey is crawling again, but usually only a few 'steps' at a time before he gets frustrated and lays down on the floor. He seems to be favoring his left leg, though it is unclear to us why that would be. He stood on his own last night before his bath for a couple of wobbly minutes, but only took a few walking steps while being supported. We're confident that walking will come as he continues to gain his strength back.

We are so grateful for the many people who have lovingly provided for our needs so we can focus on the needs of our son, and who continue to lift Josiah and our family in prayer! Our strength and peace come from the Lord (Psalm 29:11).