Monday, December 31, 2007

Mixed blessings

Sometime close to Christmas last year, someone in our family decided it would be a good idea to spend Christmas in Colorado and have everyone come to us for a change. In my naive mind I was thrilled with the idea of not having to pack and travel. But about a week before Christmas this year, I realized that not traveling meant hosting, and I wasn't sure I was ready for that either! But alas, we survived. We had a wonderful Christmas with John's parents and both sisters and their boyfriends in our home. I made my first official holiday dinner (all the big ones have been in other places so far in our 9 1/2 years of marriage) and ended up being less stressed than I had anticipated. We even had snow all day on Christmas -- it was beautiful and white!

Having all this family in town has definitely been a blessing -- but a mixed blessing. It has been great to catch up and spend time with my in-laws that we haven't had in some time. The time I've spent with my youngest sister-in-law (who feels like a little sister to me) has been refreshing and good for both of us. Lucy has had playmates galore, and I've had several extra sets of hands to hold and entertain Josiah. It's been great for all of that.

On the flip side, this is the first chance I have had in more than a week to sit at the computer, to think in sweet silence, and to type my thoughts. Being an introvert, I haven't had that essential time to myself to recharge, and that has been hard, especially in a 2-bedroom condo. I've discovered over the years that I'm really good at faking it for a few days, but when I start to wind down, it gets harder for me to make decisions (especially for groups of people) and to initiate conversation. I don't get to spend my time alone in God's Word like I want to, my prayer life falls apart, I become emotional much more easily, I can't achieve the order in my home that I thrive on, and recently I also noticed it gets harder for me to tame my temper with the kids.

So, for a few moments, both kids are napping, and everyone else is out of the house doing other things. I'm sure that after everyone leaves to return to their various dwellings, I will return to feelings of isolation and loneliness, but for this moment I'm going to cherish this sweet, sweet solitude and silence!

1 comment:

Jess said...

I could have written your entry. We are very similiar! Glad you are enjoying some quiet time!