Tuesday, April 8, 2008

We survived

It is SOOOO good to have my hubby back home. Somehow, we made it nine whole days without him. He wasn't just out of town, but out of the country -- in South Africa for set-up and planning meetings for YFCI's upcoming General Assembly.

I was definitely not looking forward to John's trip. Selfishly, I dreaded playing the part of a single parent for that length of time. I knew it would be exhausting and trying and perhaps emotionally draining dealing with my two precious little ones for that amount of time by myself. But it went surprisingly fast, thanks to a dear friend who planned several things with us during the week and called at other times for me to have some adult interaction, and thanks to many others who were praying for us.

But that wasn't the only reason I didn't want him to go. I didn't want him to be in Africa without me. That used to be my job, my territory, my specialty, the place where my heart was and where I would visit several times each year. I was more than thrilled when I married a man who loved Africa as well, and we were so blessed to take most of our trips there together. When I left my job to become a full-time mom, I knew much of that would come to an end, or at least the regularity. When John took his job at YFCI shortly after I left, I didn't think that the Director of Finance would need to do much traveling. At least not to Africa. At least not without me.

I was jealous. I admit it. But as I faced reality, as I thought about him being there, and as I prayed for him particularly to feel fulfilled in his purpose in being there, I found my heart changing. I was proud that he was needed. I was joyful to know that he had good friendships with these other men and women who would be meeting there from all over the world. I was delighted that he was respected. And I was happy for him. I began to remember what it was like when I would sit at my desk in Denver, working for my African fellows, and feeling like the days dragged on. How I longed to be there and to see them! How much I looked forward to the few weeks at a time that I could be in "the Motherland," as we liked to call it. And here, John was getting just this same kind of opportunity, and I was begrudging him of it!

So over the last nine days, my attitude changed from jealousy and resigning myself to somehow make it through, to joy that my husband was wanted and needed and was getting just a little taste of that face-to-face time in a place we both love to recharge him as he comes back to his desk in Denver.

1 comment:

Kennedy Krew said...

I'm so proud of you!!! Our church is in South Africa this week as well - and I couldn't go this year either - and I had those same jealous emotions! Isn't God awesome that He even heals our unseen emotions?! I'm glad John's home safe!!